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About
This page was created in honour of the Royal Oak Pub on Woodstock Road in Oxford, and the people I worked there with during my student years. It has been largely copied from my old website.
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Quotes
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That way you'll learn to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a major ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
A woman once drove me to drink and I never once stopped to thank her.
Anonymous
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henry Youngman
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Martin Mull
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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Skullcrusher Cocktail (Jug)
4 pint jug filled with:
Bottle Metz
Bottle Orange Breezer
Bottle Pineapple Breezer
Bottle Smirnoff Ice
Double Gin
Double Vodka
Double Bacardi
Double Malibu
Double Archers
Topped up with you choice of fruit juice, alcopop or lemonade.
Invented by Scully and is [ed: was] the perfect prelude to DTMs.
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Royal Oak Anecdotes
As you may have already gathered I worked in the Royal Oak for some time. Most of this was for Ash Bennett and Carina Thomson and then for a number of relief managers after they left. Naturally the staff and customers have committed the occasional blunder. Here are a few:
1. An anonymous relief manager managed to cut his wrists on a vase on his last night in the Pub. He required 22 stitches and said incident is reported to have occurred when he drunkenly was investigating whether the vase was worth nicking, unaware it was superglued to the shelf.
2. On being asked for a cup of coffee, Crazy Dave returned to the main bar with a coffee cup. To the Manageress but in earshot of numerous customers he exclaimed, "Its got fucking mould in it!".
3. On hearing one of his favourite tunes on the jukebox, Ronnie began bouncing his head up and down in a very lively manner. In the end he smashed his head on his pint glass. Amazingly, the glass survived but the contents didn't, nor did Ron feel too well for some time afterwards...
4. I suppose I should add a few of my own. For starters, the less that is said about the day I gave my Managers' boss a lipstick stained coffee cup the better.
5. Not to mention the day Rob the Chef phoned me up at the bar, screaming about a fire in the fat fryers and requesting a bucket of water. Funny guy. Unfortunately I was hungover and complied...
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